Who am I without these thoughts and these beliefs? Who am I without the pain of yesterdays past? Where would I be without these? What would my body be like? What would my health and my relationships look like if I didn’t have these thoughts and beliefs? If I chose something different? How much does the thought of that scare me? The answer...? Very much, if I am honest.
As humans we are hardwired for survival. We are primed and prepped to constantly be on the lookout for what danger lurks around the corner. We take the same route to work because it is comfortable and safe. We tie our shoes the same way, part our hair the same each day, put on our clothes the same way each and every single day. Do we ever stop to ask “why?” Why do I do this? Most of us will simply answer “because I like this way” or “this way is the way I have always done it.” But, if we were truly honest with ourselves the real answer would be “because I don’t want to stray from my comfort zone – this is comfortable. I know what I can expect and it makes me feel safe.” This is the same for all things in our life. But, then something happens. Some cataclysmic event happens that forces us to change. If we fail to miss it the Universe knocks louder and louder...and louder…until finally the cosmic BOOM.
Have you ever heard the saying “if you aren’t growing you’re dying”? Well, it is true. If something isn’t growing it means it’s losing its life, energy and resources for growth. How often do we stunt our own growth by subconsciously, and even consciously, hanging on to self-destructive thoughts and beliefs? If we truly examined our lives we would realize we do this often. We do it far more often than we realize. That chronic health issue you’ve been dealing with that seems to have come from nowhere? “Oh…it’s just genetic” you might say. Maybe this is the case. But, likely it is also made up of a set of beliefs and past hurts that haven’t been released from your mind and body, along with lifestyle factors that have been a result of the beliefs and thoughts.
Sometimes we think we have let something go, but we’ve actually just buried it deep down so that we don’t really have to look at it and face it. So that we don’t really have to deal with it. Remember that time your mother told you that you should have tried harder, or that she wishes you were more like your sister, those are the times I am talking about. Those are the hurts that are so simple and so small, yet they mean the most to our subconscious beliefs about ourselves. Maybe it is a breakup that we didn’t want to deal with at the time so we filled our time with friends, events, and before we knew it we were in our next relationship. We just tucked away the pain so we didn’t have to feel the ugliness, the regret, the pain of not feeling worthy. You know, that godawful wrenching pain that makes you detest looking in the mirror - that makes you want to wear your ugly clothes for an entire week and binge on Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia while watching reruns of Sex and the City. These are the moments that we choose to hide from instead of face. And we tell a lie to ourselves “I will deal with this later. Right now I just can’t do it.” And that’s where the self-deception begins. And so the lies continue with each challenging event in our life. Each hurtful and painful event we lie and say we will deal with it later “when we are stronger.” The truth is we will never be stronger than we are now. Right now. This very second in this very moment. We have all the strength we will ever have now. And now is eternal.
So what happens when we choose to forgo dealing with the pain? When we just decide to live our lives as one predictable event after the other, allowing the subconscious brain the take the reins? We end up somewhere between lost and confused and completely devastated by life’s circumstances that we can’t seem to control. And eventually when we have ignored all the signs long enough our body starts communicating, our relationships speak too, our money talks, and our lives just start to seem like something we would never choose for ourselves. But, we have been choosing them. And because we’ve been doing it subconsciously with beliefs and thoughts that are old, patterns that have become habitual for the sake of comfort we start to feel like we have lost control. So how do we get back? Where do we go when it seems we have lost our way and our life isn’t our own? We start asking questions. It is as simple as that. Because for every question there is an answer. And when we ask, earnestly and honestly, the Universe wants to respond. There is an answer that is specific to us. We just have to be willing to hear it. How do I improve my health? How do I bring the love back into my relationship? How do I increase my income? Am I in the right job? And the bigger question, “What is my purpose?” All of these questions can be answered, and are waiting to be answered. In fact the larger part of you that already has all of the answers for you has been trying to get your attention for quite some time. It started with a tap on the shoulder, a knock on the head, a tug at the hand, a whisper in the ear, until finally sirens and emergency crews. The question is not if the answer is there, it is are you ready to hear it? And how far will you have to travel down the beaten path before you find the path that is already marked for you? A new path. A new way. When will you choose to change so that you can grow? The answer may be as simple as taking a new route to work one day, or trying out a new coffee shop. Maybe one day you smile at a stranger when normally you’d keep your head down. And maybe the next time you see that same stranger they stop to pay you a compliment. And when you get to talking you realize you grew up down the road from each other and now they have a successful business, and they are looking to hire someone with exactly your expertise. And from there your whole world starts to shift in new and exciting ways. The doors of possibility open.
Maybe your change starts with the simple act of forgiveness where you release the anger and resentment towards the person who hurt you the most. And from there you notice your health begins to improve, and then life seems to flow a little easier. Whatever it is that is within you and is ready to be transformed you can change now with a simple, small step in a new direction. Where will you end up? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? When you start asking and answering those questions you will be guided to make changes: some small, subtle changes, and some bigger, more uncomfortable changes. One thing is for certain you will never get different results doing the same thing tomorrow that you are doing today.